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February 21, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I

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February 17, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Grandpa Jones was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. “Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day

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February 16, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan ..  After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.  However, John

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February 15, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A Woman was shopping at Target, and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, “Why, that’s

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February 14, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Three ladies discuss the struggles of getting older.  One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away,

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February 13, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A Lady of the Night walks up to a man and asks, “What are you looking for?”  The man replies, “I’m looking for a woman who’s not after my money.” Photo courtesy of clipartpanda.com

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February 9, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally the priest pounds three times on

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February 8, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A diner in a restaurant asks the waitress: WHAT FLAVOURS OF ICE-CREAM ARE ON THE MENU? The waitress answered in a hoarse whisper: VANILLA, CHOCOLATE & BLUEBERRY. Sympathizing with her condition, the man asked: DO YOU HAVE LARYNGITIS? NO, SHE

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February 7, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones.    The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.    One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend

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February 6, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery. The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord! The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, make

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February 2, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home. As he’s leaving, the man is approached

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February 1, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A Lady Lawyer decided to give herself a big treat for her birthday by staying overnight in one of London’s most expensive hotels. When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She exploded

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January 31, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

A police recruit was asked during the exam. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother-in-law?   He answered ….. CALL FOR BACK UP! Photo courtesy of clipartpanda.com

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January 30, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

Tony was a pianist and was practicing late one night. There was a tap on the door, when he opened it his landlord was standing outside the door. The landlord asked, “Do you know there is a sick lady upstairs?”

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January 27, 2017 – Jewel Joke Of The Day

The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. “I’ve been insulted,” she sobbed. “Your mother insulted me.”  “My mother!” he exclaimed. “But she is a hundred miles away.”  “I know, but a letter marked

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